


It's Gonna Be Me and You

by opendoor



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Anxious-Phil if you squint, Cheating, M/M, but not cheating on each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-03
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-08 11:51:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12253860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/opendoor/pseuds/opendoor
Summary: “You’re at fault too, you know. You knew I have a boyfriend. You shouldn’t have kissed me.”“No,” Dan admitted.Phil enjoyed a flicker of satisfaction at that. It disappeared approximately three seconds later, when Dan leaned forward and said, in a low voice, “But you really shouldn’t have kissed me back.”(or, a screen-writer/costume designer AU.)Now complete!





	1. Chapter 1

“May I suggest…space pirates.”

It was just gone nine on a Monday morning, and Phil and PJ were in the office, working on their children’s TV show _Lion of Destiny_.

“The solution to every plot-hole isn’t space pirates, Peej. Also, how have we run into a plot-hole already?” he added, as much to himself as to PJ. “This is Episode _three_.”

PJ shrugged. “Total lack of experience?”

Phil and PJ had studied film production together at university, and had both got non-writing jobs in the field after they graduated. Then, a few months ago, they had pitched _Lion of Destiny_ to the BBC, and, in a turn of events Phil was still struggling to believe, the BBC had picked it up.

Their brainstorming session was cut short by Chris Kendall, their storyboard artist, poking his head into the office. “Hey guys, check this out.”

Their office was on the first floor of a moderate-sized studio which housed a few other BBC shows. They followed Chris down the hall to the landing that overlooked the foyer.

_This_ turned out to be a person- a boy in his early twenties with curly hair and a very pretty face. He was standing just inside the doorway, texting.

“He is, indisputably hot,” PJ ruled.

“He’s got to be an actor, right?” Chris said.

“Gotta be,” Phil agreed.

Chris swivelled his head. “Hey, keep it in your pants, Lester. Don’t you have a boyfriend?”

“I-you-you’re the one who dragged me out here!” Phil spluttered, indignant.

Then the worst thing happened. Chris burst out laughing, and, hearing it, the boy on the ground floor looked up. Chris dived down below the landing railing and out of view, while PJ lurched back.

And Phil, Phil just stood there, like an idiot.

The guy locked eyes with him, a quizzical expression on his face. Phil gave a shrug that bore a closer resemblance to a spasm, turned on the spot, and started power-walking in the direction of his office. PJ and Chris followed him, Chris’ cackling even louder.

Phil collapsed at his desk. “I can’t believe that happened,” he groaned.

“I can’t either,” Chris said, gleefully.

Phil pointed at the door. “Leave,” he said. With a bow, Chris did.

PJ walked over to Phil’s desk, and perched on the corner. “It’s not that bad,” he said, soothingly. “We’ve never seen him before; we’ll probably never see him again.”

For a moment Phil let himself be comforted- then, a sudden thought occurred to him. “What if he’s just started working here. Today.”

PJ patted him on the arm. “I’m sure he hasn’t. He’s probably just dropping by.”

***

Phil’s boyfriend, Tom, came over after work. He kissed Phil on the cheek before flopping on the other end of the sofa.

“How was your day?” Phil asked.

Tom worked for a small company that specialised in event photography. “Good,” he said. “A lot of crying, though.”

“School pictures?” Phil guessed, and Tom nodded. “How was yours?”

“Also good,” Phil said. He remembered the embarrassing incident on the landing. “Mostly. Apparently the animation team is nearly done with Episode one, which is exciting.”

Tom nodded, and didn’t inquire after the ‘mostly’. Phil hadn’t expected him to- he was a man of few words, and Phil had never minded that.

Phil had a rocky romantic history. There had been Aiden in the first year of uni, who he’d dated until it became impossible to ignore the fact that they had nothing in common, Hannah, who had got too attached too quickly, Quentin, who had been, by all accounts, crazy, and then… Tom. Soft-spoken and good-looking and surprisingly funny when he wanted to be.

They had been together for a year and a half, and were still going strong. This was the first time in Phil’s adult life that his relationship hadn’t been a source of anxiety.

Which was fortunate, since his job was delivering plenty of anxiety. The premiere of _Lion of Destiny_ was drawing closer and closer, and though he hadn’t admitted it, even to PJ, Phil was terrified about how it would be received.

Phil pushed down the anxiety, and tried to focus on the nature documentary showing on the telly.

***

PJ was wrong.  
  
Phil saw the pretty boy walk past their office several times over the next few days, and, with a heavy heart was forced to conclude that he had taken a job down the hall.

Phil didn’t come face to face with him until Friday, when he went into the break-room to make a coffee, and saw him, sitting alone at a table with earphones in, eating sushi. Phil forced himself to continue on into the room. “Hi,” he said, giving a little wave to attract the boy’s attention.

The boy looked up, pulling one earphone out. Phil saw his eyes flash with recognition.

“You’re the laughing guy,” he said.

God, Phil should have just gone back to his office, where it was safe. “Well, I wasn’t laughing at you, in fact, it wasn’t even me laughing.” Sensing that this garbled explanation wasn’t making things better, he broke off. “It was just a wrong time wrong place thing,” he said. “Those happen to me a lot.”

The boy took his other earphone out. “I get it. I’m an awkward magnet too. Well, more of an awkward generator, but yeah, I get it.”

Phil grinned, relieved. “I’m Phil.”

“Dan,” the boy said, with a nod.

Phil busied himself making coffee. By the time he left the room, Dan had his earphones back in.

***

Chris came by Phil and PJ’s office two hours later. “I have intel on the new guy,” he announced.

“Do you actually _do_ work?” Phil inquired.

“Well, if you guys stopped faffing around with Ep three, there would be work for me to do. Seriously, they’re twenty minute episodes. How long does it take? Anyway, his name’s Daniel Howell, and he’s the new costume designer for _The Daughters of Rosemary Manor_.”

“So, he’s not an actor.” PJ sighed. “What a waste of a pretty face.”

“PJ, you’re straight,” Phil reminded him.

“I know,” PJ said, wistfully.

“Apparently he’s a real loner,” Chris said. “According to Zoe, he’s barely said two words that aren’t about contemporary materials or hem-lines.” Zoe was the production manager for _Rosemary Manor_. “So he’s unlikely to become part of the gang.”

“Are we-would you say we’re a gang?” PJ asked.

“We’re a gang,” Chris assured him. “Now, get back to writing so I have something to do.”

***

He and PJ finished the script for Episode three late Friday.

The following Monday, Phil was sitting alone in his office while PJ went over the script with their director, when he saw Dan stagger past. Stagger, because he was attempting to push a rack of dresses while carrying a stack of hat-boxes.

The dress-rack teetered dangerously, and Phil decided to intervene, hurrying out after him. “Need a hand?”

Dan very obviously was in dire need of a hand, but he still made a show of considering Phil’s offer before nodding. “You take these,” he said, thrusting the hat boxes into Phil’s arms. “I’ll push the dresses.”

“Couldn’t you have done this in two trips?” Phil asked, as they made their way down the hall.

Dan shook his head. “These need to be on set like _now_ \- the van was supposed to leave ten minutes ago.”

Phil wordlessly picked up his pace. They reached the stairs at the end of the hall.

Dan froze. “Where the fuck is the lift?”

“This way,” Phil said, in his most soothing voice, leading him over to it. With some manoeuvring, they got the rack of dresses inside. Phil spent the short lift-ride trapped in between the dresses and the wall. They dashed across the ground floor, and out through the automatic doors. A van, half-full with other equipment, was waiting by the curb.

“Took you long enough,” the driver said.

Dan shrugged in a way that could be interpreted as apologetic or hostile. The driver helped them load the costumes into the back of the van before getting back behind the wheel. Once the van had pulled away from the curb Dan put his head in his hands for one, two, three seconds before resurfacing. “Only fifteen minutes late…that should be fine,” he said.

“What happened?” Phil asked him.

Dan looked at him blankly for a second. “Oh, I’m just a procrastinating train-wreck, basically. I was hoping I’d go two weeks at this job before people realised that, though.”

“Right,” Phil said. He didn’t have anything to offer-procrastination had never really been a problem for him.

“Thanks for helping me. I really think the driver might have left without my stuff if I’d been a few minutes later.”

“Yeah, rude guy,” Phil said, even though he really hadn’t been, just because he thought Dan needed to hear it.

It worked-Dan’s face broke into a smile. Of course he had a gorgeous smile, complete with two crater-deep dimples. _Dimples_ , honestly. No wonder the guy had PJ feeling confused.

When Dan spoke again, his voice sounded slightly different. “Seriously, thanks. I know you have an actual job to do, that isn’t helping a random guy with a crisis of his own making.”

“No worries,” Phil said, “I’m a script-writer,” he supplied. It still felt surreal to say.

“That’s cool,” Dan said. “What show do you work for? Anything I’ll have heard of?”

Phil shook his head. “It’s a children’s show. And it won’t air for a month.”

“What’s it called?”

“ _Lion of Destiny_ ,” Phil said. Something about the way Dan was looking at him was making him feel faintly uncomfortable. “Me and my best mate came up with it.”

“I’ll look out for it,” Dan promised. And then his eyes, unmistakably, flicked down to Phil’s lips, and Phil finally realised what was happening. He took a step back- when had Dan got so close? “Hey, uh, Dan, just so you know, I have a boyfriend,” he blurted.

Dan thankfully didn’t seem embarrassed, or even particularly disappointed. “Shame,” he said, lightly. “I’ll still look out for the show. What was the name again?”

Phil repeated the title, Dan nodded, and with a “catch you later, Phil”, he headed back inside.

Phil pretended to check his phone for a good half a minute before following him in. By the time he got back to the office, PJ had returned from his meeting. “Where’ve you been?” he asked.

Phil opened his mouth, ready to regale him with the whole story of Dan hitting on him, another awkward moment in the life of Phil (“It took me so long to notice, Peej”), but at the last second changed his mind. It was just… Dan hadn’t done anything wrong. Phil knew that if it had been him in Dan’s shoes, he wouldn’t want the story shared around and made into a joke.

“Was just helping move something,” he said, instead.

PJ’s eyes went wide. “You. Physical labour. I never thought this day would come. You must really not want to start Ep four, huh?”

“Yeah,” Phil said, shrugging. “What can I say, procrastination.”

***

On Wednesday, Chris burst into their office, as he was apt to do.

“Guys, Joanna from _Rosemary Manor_ is leaving, so they’re throwing her a farewell party this Friday night, and I scored us invites.”

Joanna worked on sound for the show. Phil barely even knew her. PJ was similarly doubtful. “Do we…want those?” he said, slowly.

“Yes!” Chris exclaimed. “Her co-workers actually liked her, so they’ve rented out a swanky bar.”

“Alright,” PJ said. “I’m in.”

“How about you, Phil?”

Phil shrugged. “I don’t know.” A party full of near-strangers wasn’t exactly his idea of a good time.

Chris put his hands on Phil’s shoulders. “Ah, but you see, I have two words that’ll change your mind: open bar.”

“Fine.”

***

The bar _was_ swanky- spacious and mood-lit and just a little bit hipster. After his third drink, Phil felt brave enough to socialise apart from PJ. He joined a small circle of people standing by the bar. They were talking about work…which made sense, given where they were.

A man addressed Phil. “I’ve seen you around the building; what do you do?”

“I’m a writer. For a children’s show.”

The man’s eyes and mouth widened in a fake smile. “Oh, good for you!” he said, horribly condescending. Phil’s stomach dropped. He looked around the circle, and saw that everyone was wearing the same expression.

The woman standing next to Phil patted him on the arm. “Children’s TV can be a great springboard to better things,” she said.

Phil could feel his cheeks heating up. “Excuse me,” he managed to get out, walking away.

He looked around for PJ and Chris, but both were engaged in conversation, and not looking his way. He spied a glass door to the right of the bar, and tried it.  
To his relief, the handle turned. The door opened onto a narrow balcony, devoid of furniture, and mercifully people. Phil went over to lean on the balcony railing. There was no view, but at that moment he wasn’t picky. At least his drink was full.

He had just shot off a text to Tom- **Coming here was a mistake** , when the door behind him clicked open.

Phil turned and saw Dan standing in the door-way- taking up most of the door-way to be honest, God he was tall. “Oh, I’m sorry-” Dan said.

Phil didn’t smile at him, trying to convey in every way short of glaring that he wanted to be left alone. It didn’t work; Dan shut the door behind him, and walked over to join Phil at the railing.

“You alright?” he said.

“Yeah, fine,” Phil said, taking a sip of his drink.

Dan was unrelenting. “Well, that pretty obviously isn’t true. What’s up?”

Phil sighed. “It’s stupid. I told some people in there that I work on a kid’s show, and they judged me.” He corrected himself. “Judged isn’t even the right word- it was like they felt sorry for me. Some lady said kid’s TV is a ‘springboard to better things’. She thought she was being nice, but this isn’t a springboard to me. This is what I’ve wanted to do for years and years.”

Dan shook his head. “Oh man,” he said. “That sucks.”

“Yeah,” Phil said.

“Like, that really sucks,” Dan continued. “Being a script-writer is awesome, whether it’s for adults or children or…” Dan trailed off, obviously unable to think of another category. “Dogs,” he said, at last.

Phil smiled without meaning to.

“Besides, it’s not like _Rosemarie Manor_ is a credible show anymore. It jumped the shark hard after Season two. I’m serious, Phil, there are three different characters in a coma at the moment- one fell off a ladder…” Dan’s voice dropped to a dramatic whisper, _“or was he pushed_? One was trampled by a runaway horse, and ones’ birthday cake was poisoned by her Aunt. Honestly, any day now a character’s going to slip into a coma and no explanation will be given.”

Phil laughed. “Thanks,” he said. “I actually feel better now.”

“Good,” Dan said. He looked down at his hands. “People shouldn’t shit on other people’s choices,” he said, with some conviction. Phil clinked his glass against Dan’s, and they both finished their drinks.

Phil jerked his head toward the door. “Want to go back in there?”

“Not really,” Dan said, then laughed.

“Me neither,” Phil admitted.

“I do, however, want another drink.” Dan deftly took Phil’s glass out of his hands, and gave it a sniff. “Something sugary, Ok we’re on the same page.”

Dan disappeared inside with both of their glasses. Phil checked his phone. He had three texts- two from PJ and one from Tom. He didn’t open them.

Dan returned, sporting two dark-coloured drinks.

“What is this?” Phil said, taking his.

“A Black Russian,” Dan said.

Phil took a sip. “This is-”

“Mostly vodka,” Dan said, with a small smile. “Mixed with coffee liqueur.”

Sugary coffee was an essential part of Phil’s life. He took another sip.

They talked- Dan more than Phil, about life in London. Dan’s experience was largely foreign to Phil- he told stories about wild nights spent at exclusive clubs, partying with people it didn’t sound like he liked very much. Phil could feel the drinks he’d had hitting him. He wasn’t drunk, but he was pleasantly buzzed- warm and relaxed.

The glass door opened, and they both started. A blonde bartender stuck her head out. “Just so you know, we’re closing up at eleven.” Phil checked the time on his phone- it was five to.

“Thanks,” Phil said. Then, to Dan, “We should get going.”

“Yeah."

They headed inside. Almost everyone had already left- PJ and Chris were nowhere to be seen. They kept going, down the stairs and into the alley the bar opened onto, coming to a halt a few feet from the door. A string of coloured lights hung over their heads, rendering everything a vibrant purple.

“So,” Phil said. The words _I should getting home_ were on the tip of his tongue…only he seemed to be having trouble saying them. He looked at Dan, which was a terrible mistake, because Dan was perhaps even more beautiful in the purple light.

“So,” Dan repeated.

The air between them felt charged. Phil’s heart was hammering in his chest. Dan leaned in, and very softly pressed his lips to Phil’s. Phil froze, and then, just as Dan started to pull away, responded. Dan deepened the kiss, walking Phil back half-a-step, until his back was against the alley wall. They weren’t touching in many places, but Phil could feel the heat emanating off Dan’s body. He threaded his fingers through Dan’s hair; his curls were like silk under Phil’s hand.

Dan had lovely lips, pink and round, and he was an expert kisser. He licked his way into Phil’s mouth, and moved closer, pressing against Phil…and then just as it was getting really, really good, Phil’s conscience came back online. _He had a boyfriend. A long-term boyfriend, who he loved, who didn’t deserve this._

He would have moved away, but there was nowhere to go. He settled for turning his head and planting a hand against Dan’s chest. Dan instantly backed off.

“Dan, I can’t,” Phil said, and was instantly appalled by how breathless his voice was. “I’m not single, I shouldn’t have…”

Dan nodded once, twice, and then walked away without a word.

***

During the Uber ride back to his flat, Phil finally checked his phone. He opened the texts from PJ first- several more had come since the last time he checked.

**Phil, r u still here? I can’t see u.**

**Phil???**

**Me and Chris r heading home, I’m going to assume u’ve done the same and ur not dead in a ditch.**

**Does London have ditches?**

**Anyway, shoot me a text when u get this.**

He sent off a short reply, apologising and reassuring PJ that he was still alive. Then he forced himself to open the message from Tom.

It was a reply to the one he had sent hours ago- **Coming here was a mistake**.

**Sorry to hear it babe :( Want to come over? xx**  
  
Guilt wormed its way through Phil’s stomach. Tom was good to him, good for him. What the fuck had he been thinking, making out with some other guy in an alley?  
  
He spent half of the night lying awake, debating whether to tell Tom what had happened.

Eventually he resolved not to. He wasn’t a cheater; he had never done anything like this before. It had been an anomaly, a temporary lapse of judgement, and he had stopped himself before anything actually happened. It wasn’t worth upsetting Tom over, and it certainly wasn’t worth a break-up.

But when he did fall asleep he dreamt about plump lips kissing their way down his neck, sucking marks into his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More chapters coming soon :)  
> The title is from Robyn's _Call Your Girlfriend_.


	2. Chapter 2

Phil spent the weekend with Tom.

He felt sick to his stomach on the way over to his flat. He was convinced that Tom would take one look at him and instantly know what had happened the previous night.

But Tom just smiled and kissed him ‘hello’ like he always did. In the afternoon they went out to see an arthouse film PJ had recommended, and afterwards they had sex, good sex.

By the time Sunday evening rolled around, Phil still felt guilty, but he was no longer overwhelmed by the feeling. He had made a mistake, but he and Tom would move past it without Tom even knowing anything had happened.

But there was still one thing Phil was going to have to deal with if he wanted to truly put this behind him- Dan.

Mid-Monday morning, Phil forced himself to leave the safe haven of his office and head down the hall.

The _Rosemarie Manor_ studio was larger and considerably posher than theirs. It was also busier- there were at least twenty people in the open-plan office, and all of them seemed to be moving. Phil looked for Dan, but didn’t spot him. Eventually a short boy with neat brown hair came over.

“Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for Dan?”

“Dan…” the boy said blankly. “Dan.” He raised a finger in triumph. “Oh! The costume guy. He’s down that way, on the end.”

He pointed in the direction of a narrow corridor that Phil hadn’t even noticed. Phil thanked him.

The door to Dan’s office was closed. Phil knocked twice.

“Come in,” called a bored-sounding Dan.

Phil pushed the door open. Dan’s office was small and bland- he seemed to have made no attempt to personalise it. When he saw Phil, his expression turned instantly sour.

“What do you want?” he said, frostily.

“To say sorry, about Friday.”

“Apology accepted,” Dan said, turning his gaze to his computer screen. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to-”

“Dan,” Phil said, quiet but firm.

“Fine.” Dan minimised whatever was on the desktop, and looked up at Phil.

Phil clicked the door shut behind him. “I’m sorry about what happened. I should have stopped things sooner.”

“You should have,” Dan agreed.

This response rubbed Phil the wrong way. “You’re at fault too, you know. You knew I have a boyfriend. You shouldn’t have kissed me.”

“No,” Dan admitted.

Phil enjoyed a flicker of satisfaction at that. It disappeared approximately three seconds later, when Dan leaned forward and said, in a low voice, “But you _really_ shouldn’t have kissed me back.”

Phil was exasperated. “Look,” he said. “Are we good, or not?”

Dan surveyed him for a moment, unspeaking, clearly enjoying leaving Phil in the lurch. “We’re good,” he said, finally. “See you round."

Phil opened the door. A peal of laughter flooded in from the main office.

And then Phil started thinking about Dan, alone in his little office. How his co-worker had barely remembered him, even though he’d been there two weeks; how Chris had said he was a loner. And he thought about how kind he had been the night of the party, long before anything happened. Phil didn’t think that had been a ploy to get Phil to sleep with him- if Dan was able to fake that kind of sincerity, he really could have been an actor.

He turned back to Dan. “Do you want to be friends?” he said.

“Not particularly,” Dan said.

_Oh. OK._

Before Phil had the chance to leave, Dan held up a hand. “Wait,” he said. “I didn’t mean that. You’re about the only person around here I don’t actively despise -” (Phil thought that Dan could probably have said that a bit quieter) “-so, fine.”

“Alright,” Phil said. “Cool.” He left, but not before making finger-guns in Dan’s direction, which undoubtedly made Dan want to retract everything he had just said.

***

PJ was waiting for him in the doorway to their office.

“Phil!” he said, seizing his arm.

“What’s going on?” Phil said, slightly alarmed.

“It just arrived- the final cut of Ep one.”

Phil’s emotional state upgraded to very alarmed. “Oh God. Have you seen it yet?”

“No, Chris is rounding up the rest of the team, we’re going to watch it in a minute.”

Phil shut his eyes briefly.

“Phil, it’s going to be fine,” PJ said. He was somehow, bizarrely, smiling.

“Yeah,” Phil replied, voice strained.

They both sat down in front of PJ’s computer, where the episode was ready to play. Chris and the rest of the team entered the office, and stood around them.  
When everyone was assembled, PJ hit play. They held position for twenty minutes, all intently focused on the screen.

When the final credits rolled, nobody had to say anything. They just applauded.

The next few minutes was a blur of mistimed high-fives and awkward sitting-down hugs; sitting-down because Phil was dazed and had temporarily forgotten the mechanics of getting up.

The episode had been…perfect, everything he and PJ had wanted it to be. Phil felt the knot that had been residing in his chest for months start to loosen. For the first time he truly believed that the show could succeed.

***

“It came together, Tom. It looks like an actual TV show, not an undergrad’s film project. The voice acting’s _superb_ , so is the animation, and all of the jokes land.” This last point was perhaps the most pleasing to Phil- hearing the rest of the team titter at his jokes had been deeply gratifying. “It actually came together,” he repeated.

They were in Phil’s kitchen, making dinner. Tom’s brow furrowed. “Did you not think that it would?”

Phil was confused for a moment, before he remembered that oh yes, his months-long meltdown had been completely internal. “I had my doubts,” he said, diplomatically.

Tom touched his arm. “You should have more faith in yourself. But you should maybe have a little-less faith in your pasta-cooking abilities.” He gestured at the pan Phil was absently-mindedly poking with a spoon. “It’s burning.”

“Right!” Phil yelped, springing into action.

***

Phil ran into Dan a few mornings later in a café down the street from work.

Dan looked artfully hungover- he was wearing expensive-looking round sunglasses, cradling a coffee and scowling. Phil nodded at him as he we went to order. To his surprise, Dan got out of his seat, and went to stand beside Phil in the line.

“Hey,” he said.

“Rough night?” Phil asked.

“No, the night was great. It’s this morning that’s trying to end me.” He stifled a yawn. “I know, I know, it’s my own fault for going out on a week-night, but to be fair, my job doesn’t require me to be mentally present.”

Phil wasn’t sure he believed that. “You’re telling me designing those fancy clothes doesn’t take any effort?”

“I’m not the one designing the clothes! Lexi- the big boss designer- is doing that. I’m her underling. So far I’ve just been calling traders and supervising our costume-makers. It’s incredibly dull.”

“It’s probably just because you’re new. If you give it enough time I’m sure Lexi will let you-”

“-Exercise some creative freedom before I shrivel up and die? That is the hope.”

They had reached the front of the queue- Phil ordered his drink, and they stepped to the side to wait.

“Sorry,” Dan said, clearly realising he’d been laying it on a little thick. “I’m done venting now, I promise. What’s happening in your life?”

Phil briefly recounted his experience viewing the episode.

“So, you were convinced it was going to suck? Why?”

Phil shrugged. “I don’t know. I get like, stressed about things sometimes, for no reason.” It wasn’t a good explanation, but Dan nodded as though he understood.

The barista called Phil’s name, and Phil collected his coffee. He took a grateful gulp…and instantly burnt his tongue. He swallowed down the boiling coffee, trying to keep a neutral expression so Dan didn’t notice-

“Did you just burn your tongue?”

_Dammit._

“How did you know?” Phil demanded.

Dan laughed, loud enough to turn heads. “You blinked like…eighteen times.”

“Oh,” Phil said.

Dan gave another cackle at that. He had a weird laugh, but it was undeniably infectious. Phil almost felt like laughing at his own misfortune. Dan was still chuckling when he looked down at his phone. “It’s nearly nine. We should get to work.”

They kept talking, until Dan said something in a funny voice that didn’t quite make sense in the context of the conversation.

“Huh?” Phil said.

“It’s a meme,” Dan said. “You know, there’s that guy, and he does the song-” he broke off. “You haven’t seen it.”

“No.” Phil had not.

“Honestly, I can’t believe you don’t know it. Do you even use the Internet?”

“What did you say it was, a meme? What does that mean exactly?”

Dan stopped walking. “YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT A MEME IS?”

“No?”

Dan visibly collected himself. “A meme is a picture, or a video…or it can be a gif I guess, or text-”

A trace of the smile Phil was suppressing slipped past his guard.

“Oh,” Dan said. “Oh.” A sheepish grin blossomed on his face.

Phil cracked up.

“You troll.” Dan slapped Phil on the arm. “You had me, you know.”

“I know,” Phil said, smugly, pleased to have got Dan back for the coffee thing. They resumed walking. “I have seen memes before,” he confessed. “But not that particular one.”

“I’ll send it to you,” Dan said, raising his phone. “D’you have Facebook?” he asked, already putting Phil’s name into the search-bar.

“Yup.” They had reached the studio, they headed inside and up the stairs.

“There you are.” Dan looked between the screen and Phil’s face. “God, your profile pic’s ancient.”

“Thanks.”

“Seriously, you need to update that, ASAP.” He tapped the screen. “You have been friend-requested.”

They were at the door to Phil’s office. Phil took out his phone. “And you have been friend-accepted.”

Dan rolled his eyes. “God, that was so lame.”

“It really was.”

“Let’s never speak of it again.”

“Good idea.”  
  
***  
  
Dan sent the unsolicited memes later that morning.

He didn’t message again until noon several days later.  
  
**phil, you free? want to get lunch?**  
  
Phil was, in fact, free. Everything was running smoothly and for the past twenty minutes PJ had been doodling intently in his sketchbook, which meant that he was having an idea, and could not be disturbed.  
  
**Sure, meet you in the hall** , Phil typed.  
  
He stood up. “Peej, I’m ducking out for lunch.”  
  
PJ grunted something that might have been “have fun”, if he’d opened his mouth.  
  
Phil was only waiting for a minute before Dan appeared, wearing a long, fluffy jumper that somehow suited him.

“You hungry?” Dan asked.

“Starving, generally. Where are you feeling?”

Dan shrugged. “I usually try and eat pretty healthy-”

Phil’s heart sank.

“-But today I just really fancy a burger.”

_Thank God._

“There’s a place round the corner.”

“Well, lead the way.”  
  
When they reached the burger joint, however, Dan’s enthusiasm melted away. “Oh God, please don’t tell me this is where you meant.”

Phil had to admit, the place didn’t exactly have street appeal- the sign on the front window was peeling off, and the awning that sheltered the outdoor seating was grubby. “Just because it’s not some hipster den with potted plants and barstools.”

“This place is the architectural embodiment of food poisoning.”

“You’re not going to get sick. I’ve eaten here like, twenty times. C’mon, the food’s good, I promise.”

Dan gave the place a final, dubious look before following Phil inside.

It was the fairly crowded, but Phil managed to snag a table by the window. Dan perked up considerably when he saw how many sauces there were on the menu.

“Spicy truffle!” he read, excitedly.

When their food arrived Dan seemed won-over. He picked up his burger. “This is gonna clog up my arteries real good,” he said happily, before chomping down.

“So,” Phil said, once the initial feeding frenzy had passed, “Has your job been any better?”

Dan nodded. “A little. The last few days have been really hectic- I’m doing needlework with the costume team.”

“You can sew!” Phil said, surprised.

Dan looked at him, gaze full of judgement. “I’m in fashion, of course I can sew.” He wiggled his fingers. “I’ve got magic hands.”

Phil wasn’t sure about that, but they certainly were _nice_ hands- large and ever-so-slightly-tanned…he dragged his eyes away.

Dan’s phone buzzed several times; he checked it and rolled his eyes.

“What’s up?” Phil asked, because Dan clearly wanted him to.

“It’s this guy,” Dan said. “We hooked up like, three times last month, and then I decided I didn’t want to make it four times and stopped texting him, but he isn’t getting the hint.”

“Can’t you just tell him you don’t want to see him anymore?”

“I could, obviously, but I shouldn’t have to. It’s not like we were dating or anything.”

“Do you do that?” Phil asked, curious. “Date?”

“Sometimes. Never exclusively, though. We should hurry up,” he said. “How long’s your lunch-break?”

“As long as I want it to be.”

 “Show-off,” Dan said darkly. “I literally _fantasise_ about being self-directed.” He wiped his mouth with a napkin. “OK. Back to sewing my fingers off.”

***

They fell into a routine of meeting for coffee before work in the café down the street. It wasn’t every morning- sometimes Dan didn’t show up, and sometimes Phil didn’t, but more often than not, they were both there.

On one such morning, Dan leaned on the table, resting his chin on his hand. “So, since we’re friends now, tell me about Mr Boyfriend.”

Phil chuckled. “Is that what you call him in your head?”

Dan frowned. “I don’t think about him.”

Of course, right. It was like some recalcitrant part of Phil’s brain was sabotaging him, making things needlessly awkward. “His name’s Tom,” he said.

Dan made a face.

“What?”

“Well, it’s a bit of a boring name, isn’t it? He could have been called something sexy. Like Seth or... Damien.”

“Says you, _Dan_ ”.

Dan inclined his head. “Point taken. So, what does he do, this Tom?”

“He’s a photographer.”

Dan looked faintly interested. “Like, an artist?”

Phil shook his head. “He shoots events- mainly weddings. He takes photos in his free time too,” he added, a little defensively, as Dan hadn’t bothered to hide his disapproval.

“And what’s he like?”

“Er, quiet. But nice.”

Dan laughed. “Really selling him there, Phil.”

“Hey, no, wait,” Phil said, flustered. “He’s good for me. I’m the kind of person who can get really stressed out about things. Tom’s not like that- he’s very calm, stable. And that helps me. He’s good at talking me down. And he’s supportive of my career.”

Dan nodded. He looked satisfied, Phil thought. Digging deeper, he looked like a man who’d just made up his mind.

***  
Friendship with Dan was...an experience.

He was sharp-tongued and moody, and got out his phone whenever there was the slightest lull in conversation. He routinely invited himself into Phil and PJ’s office when he was hiding from his co-workers, and when two weeks passed and Phil still hadn’t changed his Facebook pic, Dan marched him over to the mural in the foyer and took a new one for him.

When they went to see a film with PJ, Phil found out that Dan didn’t just _watch_ films- afterwards he talked about them, passionately and expansively. Thankfully, it wasn’t a one-sided conversation- he wanted to hear their opinions too, especially given that they had both majored in film. Not that Dan was opposed to ranting- he seemed to have strong opinions on every topic under the sun.

It was all a bit much, really. But Phil couldn’t bring himself to mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're enjoying this a comment or kudos would be really appreciated :)  
> More chapters coming soon!


	3. Chapter 3

_Lion of Destiny’s_  premiere was drawing closer. About two weeks out, Tom said, “I think we should throw a viewing party.”

Phil laughed. “It’s a kids’ show. The airing time is four in the afternoon.”

Tom shrugged. “A really early party then. An excuse to drink in the afternoon.”

Phil looked around his tiny living room. “We can’t do it here, though. And PJ’s is a no-go, because of all the room-mates.”

PJ lived in a big flat with four room-mates, which completely negated the advantages of living in a big flat. Between the room-mates, their partners and friends, his place was in a constant state of pandemonium.

“Then we’ll do it at mine,” Tom said.

“You sure?”

“‘Course I’m sure. This is a big deal- it needs celebrating.”

Phil kissed his cheek. “Thanks, Tom.”

***

Phil invited PJ, Chris and the rest of the crew, and then after some deliberation asked Dan as well.

He took the day of the premiere off, and spent the morning shopping for snacks and drinks and cleaning Tom’s already tidy flat. Tom came home from work around three o’clock, and a little after that the guests started to arrive. Dan was one of the last people to turn up.

He shook Tom’s hand, “Nice to meet you”, then turned to Phil. “I hear there’s alcohol?”

Phil laughed. “On the coffee table.”

Dan headed into the living room.

“So  _that’s_  Dan,” Tom said, significantly.

Phil had mentioned him a few times in passing. He was spared from having to engage with that statement by Chris knocking on his front door.

_Truly, a guardian angel._

Most people were well on the way to tipsy as four o’clock approached. Phil switched on the TV and sat down between PJ and Tom. Tom rested an arm along the back of the sofa, behind Phil’s head. Moving with a speed Phil didn’t know he was capable of, Dan claimed the last spot on the sofa, leaving the rest to pile on cushions on the floor.

The show before them went to credits. “Everyone shut up!” Chris yelled, from his spot leaning against Phil’s knees. “It’s starting.”

The viewing went much the same as the first viewing did- everyone tittered and gasped at the right places. When it was over, Tom kissed him. “I’m proud of you, babe.” Phil smiled.

Chris stood, brandishing a wineglass of cheap champagne. “I’d like to make a toast- to PJ Ligouri and Phil Lester. If you two crazy kids hadn’t dared to dream, none of this would exist.” Chris' tone had been sarcastic, but Phil knew that he had meant what he said.

He was starting to feel dizzy with praise- or perhaps the champagne was hitting. He noticed suddenly that Dan was no longer there- maybe he’d nipped off to the bathroom?

He went to the kitchen to get more snacks- the party of fifteen were getting through them as soon as he put them out, and was surprised to see Dan, staring at Tom’s closed fridge as though it contained the answers to life's great questions. Phil was about to tease him for his spaciness, when he saw that Dan’s cheeks were wet, and his eyes red.

“Dan, are you OK?” he said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Dan said, batting away his concern. “It’s nothing major- I’m only crying because of the episode.”

Phil took a deep breath. “Because you liked it, or because you hated it?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Because I liked it, of course. It was so emotional- the bit when Lion realises he doesn’t fit in on Earth, and goes to find his place in the Universe?”

OK, that had been pretty emotional. “You don’t think it’s too much, for the kids?”

Dan wiped his face on an oversized sleeve. “Don’t worry, it’s not the sort of thing kids would find upsetting. Emotionally-fragile twenty-one year olds, on the other hand…”

“Ah,” Phil said. “Well, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Dan said. “All the best kids’ shows have emotional depth underneath the entertaining surface stuff.”

Phil grinned. “Are you saying  _Lion of Destiny_  is one of the best kids’ shows?”

“Phil, you’re one episode in. Try not to let your ego float away into the sky? Besides, nothing could ever beat Winnie the Pooh.”

“You like Winnie the Pooh!” Phil exclaimed. He couldn’t believe he used to find Dan intimidating. “I know your secret Dan Howell, you make out like you’re dark and edgy, but you’re actually a giant sap.”

Dan made a show of glancing left and right, then leaned in. “Don’t tell anyone.”

Phil actually felt his own heart-rate pick up. He hadn’t been so close to Dan since, well  _since_. He stepped back. “C’mon. Help me bowl some snacks.”

***  
  
Phil knew something was wrong when Dan missed their unofficial coffee date three mornings in a row. It wasn’t that he was off sick- Phil still saw him knocking around the building, and they chatted once or twice, though Dan seemed more distracted by his phone than usual.

The answer to the mystery presented itself on the third day, when Phil walked into Dan’s office at lunch-time and found a guy sitting on the corner of Dan’s desk.

Phil perceived two things immediately.

Firstly, the guy was very attractive- with long dark hair and muscular forearms (and, he assumed muscular everything else, his forearms were just the only part of him Phil could see). Secondly, Dan was smiling, which was rare for him at work.

Dan and the guy looked up when Phil entered. “Oh, hi Phil,” Dan said, after a beat. “This is Luca.”

Luca smiled at him politely. “Pleasure to meet you,” he said, in an Italian accent (of course he had a sexy accent, he couldn’t have stopped at a great body and perfect hair).

“You too. I’ll…uh, just let you guys get back to it,” Phil said, already backing out of the room, not really conscious of what he was saying. Dan didn’t protest- in fact he shot Phil a grateful look as he left.  
  
Phil hurried back down Dan’s corridor, and out of the  _Rosemarie Manor_  studio. A strong negative emotion was washing over him, and it didn’t take him long to identify it. Jealousy.

He turned into the bathroom in the hall- he didn’t feel ready to talk to anybody else yet. The bathroom was empty, so he went over to the sinks, and gazed absently into the mirror.

Why on Earth was he jealous? He had known that Dan was seeing guys, in the multiple- Dan was very candid about it. It shouldn’t have been such a shock to finally meet one of them.

And what did it matter who Dan was seeing, anyway? Phil had Tom, and sure, there had been that moment with Dan, weeks ago, but since then nothing romantic had happened between them. He didn’t have feelings for Dan, and besides, Dan had made it abundantly clear that monogamous relationships, the only type of relationship that Phil was interested in, were not his cup of tea.

It was just…he and Dan had a connection. Dan was wildly unpredictable, and he often left Phil unsure of quite how to respond. But he never made Phil feel insecure about who he was- he felt like he was able to be completely himself around him. Ontop of that, he was wickedly funny, constantly surprising laughs out of him. Phil had never made such a good friend so quickly. And now this Luca was cutting into his time with him, jeopardising their connection. No wonder he was jealous.

Friend-jealousy, that’s what it was.

Deciding that was quite enough navel-gazing for one day, Phil headed back to his office.

***

Dan was at the coffee-shop the next morning, which appeased Phil slightly, until it became apparent that all he wanted to talk about was Luca.

-“And he clearly goes to the gym, because, well, you’ve seen him. But he never talks about it. It’s the dream, Phil. It’s the dream.”

“Cool,” Phil said, flatly. Dan didn’t notice his total lack of enthusiasm.

“And he asked me out to dinner this Saturday-”

“I thought you said you didn’t date,” Phil interrupted.

Dan looked slightly annoyed. “No, I said I do date, sometimes. Sex with romance can be fun, as long as nobody gets too invested.”

He managed to make ‘invested’ sound like a dirty word.

“And you’re not  _too invested_?”

“No Phil, I’m not,” Dan said, his tone hostile. “It’s only been a week.”

“Are you sure? Because you haven’t shut up about him.” The words came out harsher than he intended.

Dan’s hand clenched around his coffee cup. “What’s your problem?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“You need to back off,” Dan said. “My dating life is none of your business.”

“Well maybe you should stop telling me about it in painful detail.”

“Fine,” Dan said, picking up his jacket and storming out of the coffee-shop.

Phil felt utterly miserable for the rest of the day. He didn’t know what had come over him- he wasn’t usually the confrontational sort. He entertained the thought that the Universe was determined to make the two of them workplace enemies for life.

“Phil?” PJ said, jerking him out of his brooding. “Can we talk what you just wrote?”

Phil had just emailed him the final scene of Ep five. “Sure.”

“To be perfectly honest, it sucks.”

“What!” Phil said. “What’s wrong with it?”

PJ cleared his throat. “Lion: Sometimes I wonder if there’s a point to it, all this travelling around the Universe. I don’t know what I’m doing. I feel lost. Maybe I should give up.  _Fade to Black_.” PJ shifted his gaze from the screen to Phil. “You do remember our target audience is six to twelve year olds, right?”

“I suppose it is a little bit…bleak,” Phil allowed. “I’ll look it over.”

PJ nodded. “Oh, yeah it’s going to need a total re-write. But before you do that, I just wanted to ask- are you doing OK?”

Phil opened his mouth. He’d been sharing everything with PJ for years. But how could he share what he was feeling now, when he didn’t even understand it?

He slotted on a fake smile. “Yeah, I’m doing great.”

***

For almost a full week, Dan and Phil steadfastly ignored each other.

Finally, on a Thursday afternoon, Phil cracked and waited for Dan outside the building after work. Dan came out, texting as usual. He was wearing glittery nail polish.

“Hi,” Phil said.

Dan looked up. “Hi,” he echoed. His tone was wary, but he didn’t walk away, so that was something.

Phil gathered up his thoughts. “I just wanted to say sorry. About the other morning, when you were talking about Luca. I was really rude, and you didn’t deserve it.”

“I  _was_  being kind of annoying. You don’t go on about Tom like that.” Dan shrugged his shoulders. “Do you fancy getting a drink?”

“Now?”

Dan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, now.”

Phil considered. He had said he would drop by Tom’s after work, but they didn’t have any special plans- he was sure Tom wouldn’t mind him cancelling.

“Sure.”

***

“I ended things with Luca,” Dan said, once they were both nursing a drink.

They were in a bar of Dan’s choosing, and it was every bit as fancy as the one the farewell party had been at.

“Right,” Phil said, carefully. “How come?”

“It wasn’t because of you,” Dan said, sharply.

“OK.”

“He started talking about the gym. All the time. And opening up about personal stuff. It was a nightmare. Suddenly Mr Perfect was just like every other guy. It’s always the way.” He drank.

“Are you alright?”

Dan side-eyed him. “It was literally a ten-day relationship, and I was the one to end it. I think I’ll survive.”

“Plenty of fish in the sea, and all that,” Phil said, a little awkwardly.

Dan grinned contentedly. “ _So_  many fish.”

***

The next time they got coffee together, Dan walked in with a spring in his step.

“Morning!” he said, brightly, as they went up to order.

“What’s got into you?” Phil demanded, once they had their drinks. He was still working on getting his eyes the full-way open.

“Oh, you know, nothing much…except Lexi asked me to design a dress!”

This was big news- Dan had been at  _Rosemarie Manor_  for more than two months, and still hadn’t designed so much as a hat. “Congratulations!” Phil reached over and enthusiastically slapped him on the arm. “Do you have any ideas?”

“So many! And a four hundred pound budget. Today I get to pick the fabric- I’m thinking something patterned-”

Phil listened to him ramble for several more minutes. Before now, he had only ever heard Dan complain about his job. He hadn’t realised how passionate Dan was about designing- how creative he was.

“How many layers do you think the skirt should have, three, or four?”

Phil shook his head. “Dan, I am listening, but you shouldn’t ask for my opinion. I know nothing about fashion. Have you seen what I’m wearing?”

Dan inspected his shirt. “You make a compelling point.” He leaned back in his chair. “I’m sorry, I know I’ve been ranting. I’ll pack it in.”

Phil held up a hand. “No, no, keep going, I’m enjoying it.”

He had never seen Dan this happy- he was beaming, his dimples out in full force. And, as he watched, it occurred to Phil that he would like nothing better than to kiss him.

***

Phil didn’t know what to do.

He knew that people in relationships were allowed to have crushes, but he was rapidly realising that what he felt for Dan went far beyond a crush. Now that he had acknowledged how he felt, every time he was around Dan he felt a pull toward him. He wanted to bridge the gap between them, and not just physically- he wanted Dan to let him into every corner of his life.

But since they had become friends Dan hadn’t given any indication of being into him. And given Dan’s stance on relationships, even if he did like Phil he still wouldn’t want to be together in the way that Phil wanted.

And there was still Tom to think of, in all of this. Phil’s feelings for him may have been overshadowed by the force of this new longing for Dan, but they were still there. Tom was kind, attentive and dependable. And, unlike Dan, he actually wanted to be with him.

Phil didn’t so much make a decision as settle into a state of paralysis. And so, as the days rolled on, he stayed with Tom.


	4. Chapter 4

PJ had taken the day off, and Phil had come in to do a few short jobs and somehow wound up writing. He wasn’t sure what he was writing, exactly, but the words were spilling out as fast as he could type them. It was about Lion and the other characters, but it wasn’t like any episode he and PJ had written before. By two in the afternoon he had finished the whole thing.

He printed the script out, and sat on the floor by his desk to read it. He was most of the way through when Dan appeared in the doorway.

He scanned the office, but didn’t see Phil.

“Over here,” Phil said.

Dan started. Drawing closer to Phil’s desk, he spotted him, and rolled his eyes. “Creative types.”

It had been a long day, and Phil couldn’t really be bothered getting up. Thankfully, Dan plopped on the ground beside him.

“How’s the dress coming?”

Dan’s face lit up. “Great! It’s done! Just finished it a few minutes ago.”

And the first thing he’d done after was come out to tell Phil about it.

“I’ll send you some pictures tonight.” He nodded at the script in Phil’s hand. “What’s that?"

“Just…something,” Phil said, evasively.

Dan looked at him with big brown eyes, pouting, just a little, and Phil couldn’t say no. He passed the script over.

Dan read for several minutes in total silence, tongue poking out of his mouth adorably, before looking up. Phil knew Dan well enough that he wasn’t particularly surprised to find him teary-eyed.

Dan jabbed a finger at the script. “This is about…what I think it’s about, right?”

“Is there any other way to interpret it?”

Dan laughed. “No, this is a coming-out story, no two ways about it.”

“It won’t get made for a while,” Phil warned him. “We’ve got the season plotted out already, and this isn’t in it. It might never air at all.”

“You should make it, someday,” Dan said. “But even if it never airs, I will always treasure the knowledge that Lion is gay.”

“So gay,” Phil said.

Dan snickered again. “But seriously, if kids could see stuff like this, and learn about queerness in a fun, non-sexualised way…”

“The world would be better, yeah.”

Sitting on the floor of the empty office, hidden from view, it felt like they were in their own, tiny world. Dan was looking at him like he’d hung the moon, and it was making his chest go tight.

“Alright, I’m heading home,” Phil announced, getting up before he did anything stupid, like kiss him again.

***

It was about eight o’clock, and Phil was over at Tom’s, indulging in one of his favourite past-times- sharing weird animal facts.

“Polar bears have black skin.”

Tom shot him an incredulous look.

“I’m serious. Under all that white fir, the skin,” he gestured, perhaps unnecessarily, to his own skin, “-is black.”

“There’s no way that’s true,” Tom said.

 “It is!” Phil insisted. “Google it…hang on.” His phone was buzzing. He looked at the screen- it was Dan. The contact picture was an extreme close-up of his face Phil had sneakily taken a few weeks ago. It was mostly nose.

He crossed the room and tapped answer. Dan rarely called him, and hardly ever on week-days. They had seen each other only hours before.

“Hello,” Phil said.

“Phil,” Dan said. His voice sounded funny. Phil was willing to chalk it up to the line, until Dan loudly sniffed. He was crying, then.

“You alright?” Phil said, heading into the kitchen, ignoring Tom’s curious gaze.

“It’s going in the fucking lake!”

“It…what?” The sentence was completely beyond Phil’s comprehension.

“I just got the script for next week’s episode. Caroline goes on a boating trip with the gentleman she’s courting, only it turns out he only pretended to know how to row, and it capsizes.”

“Oh,” Phil said, suddenly understanding. “And Caroline’s the character you designed the dress for. Is she wearing the dress in this scene?”

“Would I be this upset if she wasn’t?” Dan snapped. He took an unsteady breath. “Sorry. It’s just…it’s going to be ruined.”

“You never know,” Phil said. “Maybe you can salvage it.”

“I didn’t design it to be waterproof, because I wasn’t told to. The colours will run and the glue will dissolve. The whole thing’s going to come apart. Even if by some miracle it did survive it will never be seen on-screen again. The next scene she’s traipsing back to the house in her soaking underclothes. And you know the worst part? The worst part is I knew that Lexi actually asking me to design something was too good to be true. This is why she asked me. Because she already knew what was going to happen, and she didn’t want one of her _treasured creations_ to get destroyed.”

“She could have warned you,” Phil said.

Dan sighed. It sounded like he was done crying. “Exactly, she could have fucking warned me.” He went quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he said, finally. “There’s people out there with real problems, and here I am, crying over a stupid dress.”

Dan was pretty clearly falling fast into self-loathing.

“It’s not just a dress,” Phil began, with only the barest conception of what he was about to say. “Not to you, anyway. Designing clothes is your passion. So it matters. And you’re allowed to be hurt over this.”

“My pain is valid,” Dan said, mockingly, but he sounded a little less bitter than he had a few moments before.

“Exactly.”

“Thanks for talking to me, Phil. I know I’m kind of needy, and all-over-the-place-”

Phil interrupted that spiel. “Dan, we’re friends. This is what friends do.”

“Friends,” Dan repeated, sounding mostly pleased, and a little bit something else.

And then he ended the call, and Phil was left trying to convince himself that the something else hadn’t been wistful.

***

Mid-morning Friday, nearly two weeks after the Dress Incident, Phil was in the break-room, making himself and PJ a coffee. He was mopping up the milk he had managed to spill on the counter, when Dan walked in.

“Never change, Phil,” he said.

“Don’t plan on it.” Phil put the sodden paper towel in the bin. “How have you been?”

“Fine,” Dan said. “Actually, no, I’ve been feeling kind of shitty.”

“Oh,” Phil said, sympathetically, “Because of your job?”

“I’m sick of it,” Dan said. “And I’m sick of my friends, and sick of my routine, sick of London, really.”

“Do you want to leave?” Phil asked. “Go back to Wokingham?”

He felt a pang in his chest at the thought of seeing less of Dan, but maybe it would be for the best. Maybe without constant exposure his crazy, giddy feelings would go away.

Dan’s forehead was scrunched in a frown, as though he had something on his mind- he seemed to consciously smooth it out. He looked at Phil fondly. "Wokingham. I love that you remember that.”

Butterflies fluttered in Phil’s stomach. “If you feel that it’s right for you, you should go. I’d miss you, though.”

Dan’s lips quirked up in a smile. “You would?”

Before Phil could stop himself, he had reached out and put a hand on Dan’s shoulder. Phil was a naturally tactile person, and he touched PJ like this all the time, but it felt different with Dan. He was about to step away, and possibly crack a joke to relieve the tension, when Dan put his hand over Phil’s, holding it in place.

Dan’s skin was lovely and warm, and Dan was looking at him with those eyes Phil could get lost in.

“I would,” Phil said, softly.

Dan licked his lips, and someone, very pointedly, cleared their throat.

Dan leapt back as though he’d been scalded. Phil whirled around to see Chris standing in the doorway, smiling a Cheshire cat smile.

“Talk to you later,” Dan mumbled, before noping out of the situation.

“That was brave of him,” Chris commented.

Phil crossed his arms. “That wasn’t what it looked like. We were only talking. I was just…comforting him.”

It didn’t seem anatomically possible, but Chris’ smile widened. “If that’s what you want to call it.”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh, that’s right, you do, you cheeky devil. I don’t blame you for wanting to screw young Daniel…he’s _very_ nice-looking. But aren’t there workplace harassment laws about this sort of thing?”

Phil lost his temper. “Just drop it, Chris, alright!” he said, heatedly.

Chris looked shocked. “Wow. I’m sorry Phil, it’s just harmless-”

Phil glared at him.

“I’ll drop it.”

***

Phil’s anger soon wore off.

By the end of the day, he was feeling a little guilty about his behaviour toward Chris; after all, the man hadn’t been too far off the mark. And so, when Chris came round his office, just after PJ left for the day, Phil wasn’t displeased to see him.

“I come to you with my tail between my legs,” Chris said, grandly. “I don’t actually think you want to hook up with Howell. I’m sorry for taking the joke too far and upsetting you.”

It was the surprising sincerity of Chris’ apology that made Phil say, “No, you were right. I do want to…I mean, I do like him.”

Chris’ eyes went wide. “Really? God, I am never _not_ going with my instincts again. Uh oh, you look sad. Why do you look sad?”

“Because it’s all a giant mess,” Phil groaned.

Chris held up a finger. “I have just the solution for this. Be back in a second.”

When Chris returned, he was brandishing a bottle of Jack. Phil frowned. “Was that in your office? That's a bit concerning, Chris.”

Chris shushed him. “Phil Lester, we are going to sort out your love life.”

He sat down in PJ’s chair, and thrust the bottle into Phil’s hands. “Drink.”

Phil did as he was told, then made a face. “Don’t you have anything to mix this with?”

“One second you’re berating me for having alcohol, the next you’re demanding mixers. Be consistent, Lester.”

He drank himself. “No, you’re right, this is gross.” They sat in silence for a few minutes, passing the bottle between them. “So, you like Daniel?” Chris said, at last.

“Dan. And yes. Yes I do.”

“And he likes you?”

Phil thought about the look on Dan’s face when he had read Phil’s script the other day, and the way his hand had settled over Phil’s earlier in the break-room, and allowed himself to hope.

“I think so,” he said.

“And what’s the deal with your boyfriend?”

Phil allowed himself to verbalise what he had known for weeks, “We’ve been together for a long time, but I don’t feel about him the same way I feel about Dan.”

Chris nodded. “So, what I’m getting from this, is you should break up with the boyfriend, as nicely as you can, and then you and Howell should ride off into the sunset.”

Phil motioned for the bottle, and took a big swig. “I don’t think Dan would date me,” he said.

Chris raised his eyebrows. “If you tell me he’s straight I’ll eat one of those hats he’s always carting around.”

“No, he definitely likes guys, I’m in the clear there. He just doesn’t date, the way I do. He’s only interested in casual relationships.”

Chris tilted his head. “And it’s really important to you that any relationship between you is un-casual?”

“It is. I mean, I thought it was.”

“Aha!” Chris said. “This sounds like making ground.”

Phil took a drink. The whiskey didn’t really taste like anything anymore. He realised belatedly that Chris was talking.

“Phil, Phil, listen to me. Maybe stuff with Dan works out, and you end up happily married with a dog and 2.5 adopted children. Maybe it never develops into something serious- you guys sleep together a few times then he tramples on your heart.”

Phil stared. “That’s _exactly_ what I’m afraid of.”

“Why?” Chris said. “Even in this worst case scenario, it’ll be fun while it lasts. And you’ll bounce back. You’re young, Phil. Young enough that you should give this a shot.”

“Huh,” Phil said. “Am I drunk, or did you just give me good advice?”

Chris giggled. “Well, you’re definitely drunk.”

“OK, I’ll talk to Dan. And Tom. Oh God, both of those conversations are going to be horrible.”

Chris slapped him on the back. “You can do it, trooper. By the way, I think my excellent counselling services have earned me a pay-rise.”

“I am entirely not in control of that.”

“Seriously!” Chris pretended to get up to leave, before sinking back into his chair. He handed Phil the bottle. Phil took a final drink, and resolved to finally deal with the problem the next day.

***

He had a moderate hangover when he woke up the next morning, but it faded after two hours. He waited another hour before he went over to Dan’s- Dan was a total night owl on the weekend, and Phil wanted him fully awake for their conversation.

He didn’t feel nervous as he walked up to Dan’s door. He felt like he was taking the first steps down the right path. When he knocked on the door, his hand only shook slightly.

Dan opened the door half-a-minute later. He clearly had no plans to go outside that day- his hair was scruffy and he was wearing track-pants, instead of the usual skinny jeans.

 “Hi,” Phil said.

“Hey.” Dan didn’t look happy, but he hadn’t looked happy much recently, so Phil didn’t read into it. “I…um, I want to talk to you. Can I come in?” Dan wordlessly stepped aside.

Phil walked into his little monochrome living room. He could have sworn it looked sparser than the last time he was there…

“So, what did you to talk about?” Dan said.

Looking over at him, messy-haired and slouching, in what Phil was pretty sure were his pajamas, the words just slipped out. “I like you,” he said. “A lot. And I think you might like me too.”

“Phil,” Dan said, but Phil pressed on. He wasn’t good at voicing his feelings, and he knew that if he stopped talking it would be difficult to find the words and the courage again.

“And I think that this,” he gestured between them, “is worth me breaking up with Tom over.”

“Phil,” Dan said again.

“I get that you’re twenty-one, and you don’t want to jump into anything serious, and I’m willing to take it slow, keep it open, whatever. Because I think it will all work out OK, so long as we’re together-”

“Phil, I’m leaving,” Dan interrupted.

“To Wokingham? That’s not a big deal, it’s not that far.”

“No…to America. I got offered a job in LA, a few days ago. And I just accepted it.”

Phil was blindsided. “America?”

“Yeah.”

“When do you leave?”

“In a week.”

“A week…shit,” Phil said. “Shit.”

“After Lexi pulled that move with the dress, I got in touch with a few of my buddies from design school, and one of them hooked me up with a permanent position with a designer in California.”

 _Permanent._ Phil couldn’t manage a ‘Congratulations’, and indeed, Dan didn't seem to want one- he looked miserable.

“I have to go,” Dan said. “It’s a crazy opportunity, and I hate my job here.”

“Then why do you sound so reluctant?”

“You know why!” Dan said fiercely. “You must know why.”

There it was, the confirmation Phil had been craving, only in the worst context imaginable. “You like me back,” he said, heavily.

“Of course I like you. You’re the one person I can imagine…but it doesn’t matter now. I’ve been such an idiot, and now it’s too late.”

“I’ll come with you,” Phil said, desperately.

Dan studied his face. “You would, as well, wouldn’t you,” he said. “But you can’t. Your whole life is here- your friends, your family, your dream job. If you did come, you’d end up resenting me.”

Phil couldn’t argue with that. “So, there’s nothing we can do.”

“There’s nothing we can do,” Dan repeated, voice hollow.

Phil nodded. “OK. Right. Uh- I’ll be going, then.”

Dan said something in response, but Phil didn’t hear- he was already walking out. He almost made it to the street before the tears started to fall.

 


	5. Chapter 5

Phil had sort of known he had plans with Tom for dinner, he just hadn’t wanted to remember. When Tom came round to meet him, he was red-eyed and four hours into a miserable Internet odyssey.

“Phil? Phil, what’s wrong?”

Phil didn’t say anything- just let Tom come over and hold him.

***

He nearly stayed home sick on Monday- he wasn’t sure he could face seeing Dan. But in the end the prospect of sitting home alone dwelling for another day proved worse.

He didn’t bump into Dan until lunch-time- he and PJ were leaving the building, and Dan was coming back in.

“Hi-” Dan said, the start of a conversation.

Phil nodded curtly, without making eye contact, and breezed past him. A bemused PJ followed him. “What was that all about?”

Phil didn’t answer.

He received a message from Dan a few hours later: **i gave my notice- friday’s my last day**

Phil slammed his phone down and fought the lump in his throat.

***

He fell back into the familiar routine of ignoring Dan for the rest of the week. It wasn’t fair on Dan, he knew, but actually holding a conversation with him was more than he could bear.

Late Friday afternoon, PJ stretched and said, “Alright, I’m off. You coming?”

Phil shook his head, even though he wasn’t working on anything urgent.

An hour later, Dan appeared in the doorway, as Phil had known he would. He held a small cardboard under his arm, undoubtedly containing the bonsai tree that had been slowly dying on his desk for the past few weeks.

Phil walked over, stopping a few feet away. “This is it, then,” he said.

Dan smiled, wryly. “Thought you might just ignore me.”

Phil swallowed. “I’m sorry, it’s just-”

“I get it.”

“Take care of yourself,” Phil said. He meant it, but the words were impersonal, not what he really wanted to say at all.

“You too.”

“I hope everything goes well, over there.”

Dan nodded. “Thanks. Goodbye, Phil.” And he turned to leave.

With a stab of panic, Phil realised that he might never see Dan again. “Dan, wait,” he said.

Dan stopped. He looked relieved that Phil had spoken.

“What time’s the flight?”

“4:13, Sunday morning,” Dan recited.

“Well, what are you doing tomorrow night?”

Dan’s eyes flickered with interest. “Don’t have plans.”

“You do now.” Phil named the bar Dan had taken him to a few weeks ago. “Be there at eight.”

Once Dan had left, Phil leaned against the wall. He had no idea what he was doing- he just knew that he and Dan couldn’t leave things on that note.

***

Phil told Tom that he was attending Dan’s farewell party. It was the first direct lie he had told Tom regarding him.

Dan, of course, had not received a proper farewell- his workplace hermithood had ensured that.

Phil arrived early, and waited outside the bar for Dan. But when Dan showed up, he found that he didn’t really want to go inside. It was already getting crowded, and he wanted the chance to have a proper conversation. He definitely didn’t want to spend his last night with Dan drunk.  
  
When he voiced as much to Dan, Dan nodded. He was dressed smartly, in a sleek black coat, and had earrings in- they glinted when they caught the light. “Shall we walk, then?”

They set off down the street.

“You all done packing?” Phil asked, mainly to break the silence.

It worked- Dan rolled his eyes. “Yes, mum.”

“How _do_ your parents feel about all this?” Phil asked.

“Travelling a few thousand miles away from them might actually improve our relationship.” Dan spoke the words like a joke, but it was plain to see there was genuine pain behind them. Part of Phil wanted to ask more, but he didn’t want to ruin the night.

“And how do you feel?” Phil realised that he’d been so wrapped up in his own hurt that he’d barely considered how Dan was coping with all of this. He hadn’t exactly behaved like a good friend.

“Excited,” Dan said, “But scared.” He paused. “You’re probably misinterpreting this. I’m not just a little bit scared. I’m scared shitless. I’m still going to go,” he added, before Phil even had the chance to get his hopes up. “I’ll stay with my friend until I find a place to rent- I imagine she’ll help me look once she remembers how annoying I am, and of course, I have the job waiting for me. So realistically I know I’m not going to become a hobo or anything. It doesn’t stop me being terrified, though.”

“That’s normal, any rational person in your situation would be scared.”

“Oh, thanks Phil.”

“That came out wrong.”

Dan sounded amused. “Don’t worry, I know what you mean.”

Dan was always saying things like that- when Phil spoke without thinking or went off on tangents, he often knew intuitively what he meant, or else questioned him intently until he figured it out. Phil suspected he was going to be missing him for a long, long time.

They passed under a lamp-post, and Dan’s face was briefly fully illuminated- the curve of his cheek, his lips.

Dan’s eyes met his, and Phil leaned in and kissed him. Dan kissed him back, steering them both away from the lamp-post, into the darkness. 

He pulled back, hands still cupping Phil’s face. “Are you sure about this, Phil?”

“I’m sure,” Phil said, stealing another kiss. His heartbeat was thudding in his ears, but he knew he didn’t want to stop.

“We can’t go to mine,” Dan said. “Everything’s packed up.”

“Mine’s fine,” Phil said. There was no chance of Tom coming round- he was going out with friends from work.

They took a taxi to Phil’s. In the backseat Dan rested a hand on Phil’s leg, just above the knee, and Phil wrestled the urge to do incredibly inappropriate things to him right there in the back of the cab.

However, by the time they were climbing the stairs to his flat, Phil, who was unaccustomed to hook-ups, was starting to feel slightly awkward. Would it be presumptuous to just lead Dan into his room?

Dan solved this predicament by marching into the bedroom, unprompted, as soon as Phil unlocked the front door.

“Ok, then,” Phil said to himself, following him.

Dan was sitting on his bed. He had already removed his coat, and as Phil watched he pulled his shirt over his head.  
  
He looked up at Phil. “Are you just going to stand there?”

Phil wanted a lot of things with Dan that he could never have. But he could have this. 

He joined him, and the rest of the world fell away.

Every worry that lurked in his mind became inconsequential. All that mattered was this- Dan, lying beneath him as Phil explored the soft expanse of his skin. Dan touching his face lightly, tilting it toward him, Phil moving with his touch.

Kissing sloppily, both of them figuring out what the other liked. Dan’s sharp intake of breath as Phil finally wrapped a hand around him, the stream of muted curses he uttered when Phil ran a thumb over his slit. His hands forming fists, bunching up the sheets, as Phil settled into a rhythm, fast and unrelenting. Dan, starting to whimper, and the noise he made when he came.

Then the firm pressure of Dan’s hand, and Phil desperate, bucking into it. And, finally his own release, so powerful his limbs turned to jelly.

They lay together, both panting, Dan’s warm breath tickling the side of his neck. Once he had recovered somewhat, Phil reached for the tissues at his bedside, and clumsily wiped them both down.

Dan kissed the corner of his mouth, and then got up, picking up his jeans from the floor. Phil started to protest, but Dan drew his phone from the pocket.  
“I’m coming back. Just setting an alarm.”

_For the flight._

Phil forced himself not to think about that. When Dan got back into bed, he wrapped an arm around him, drawing him closer. Dan leaned over him to turn off the light, then settled at his side.

Phil absently stroked the bare skin of his arm. “Wake me up before you leave,” he murmured, already drifting off to sleep.

***

He woke up alone.

He rolled over and checked the time on his phone- 8:35 AM. Dan’s flight had left hours ago.

Dan hadn’t left him with any contact information- Phil didn’t even who he was working for. He knew that it was better this way- continuing talking would only be painful for both of them, and make it harder for Dan to adapt to his new life.

Even so, he felt bereft, like a child without his parents. He reached across the bed for the pillow Dan had slept on, and drew it to his chest. He thought about Dan, far away and growing farther every second, and burying his face in the soft fabric, he started to cry.

***

The guilt set in an hour later.

Phil couldn’t truly say that he regretted what had happened with Dan, but he knew that he’d done wrong by Tom. He had barely spared him a thought the previous night.

Even though it was too late, he finally felt brave enough to do the right thing. He picked up his phone, and texted to see if Tom was home.

A few minutes later he received an affirmative response.

Phil took a deep breath, and then sent:

**I’m coming over.**

**We need to talk.**

***

Breaking up with Tom wasn’t easy.

Phil had been on both sides of a break up before, and in his opinion, being the dumper was worse than being dumped.

Tom had been wary from the moment he opened the door. Phil supposed that “We need to talk” was rarely followed by a pleasant conversation.

Phil had decided telling him about Dan would only hurt him, so he’d merely said that they’d grown apart, and he felt the relationship had run its course. The breakup hadn’t been too acrimonious- Tom had been upset, but not distraught. Phil was sure now that the relationship hadn’t been right for either of them.

He let himself back into his flat, and collapsed on the sofa. It was barely eleven in the morning, but he felt drained, like he’d already gone through a full day. He never would have thought himself capable of doing what he’d done to Tom. And yet, it had happened. He’d cheated, and no matter his reasons, there was no erasing that fact.

Phil wondered if it said something about him, if in the future, he would do it again. He dismissed that thought. It had been the result of bad timing, meeting someone like Dan as his relationship with Tom was reaching its natural conclusion.

His eyes settled on the photo frame, resting on the TV unit.

Most of his photos were digital- shared on social media, or else stored on hard-drives, largely forgotten. This was the one exception.

The photo had been taken a few months after he and Tom had started going out. They hadn’t spent Valentine’s Day together- Phil’s fault, he’d left an assignment until the last minute and been holed up in the studio, editing.

The next weekend, Tom in a rare show of spontaneity had shown up and whisked him away to the sea-side. The photo had been taken at sunset with one of Tom’s cameras by a fellow vacationer.

They were little more than silhouettes, standing with their arms around each other. Gazing at the photo, Phil let himself remember how happy they had been that day. For the second time that morning, his vision started to blur.

***

For the first time in a long time, Phil was truly alone. He didn’t have somebody to love him, to put him first. His heart ached, for Dan, and for Tom, but, surprisingly, panic didn’t set in.

Even though Dan was out of the picture, Phil knew that he had made the right decision in breaking up with Tom. Chris had been right, he was far too young to stay in a relationship out of fear of being alone. And, Tom, Tom deserved to be with someone who truly loved him. It wouldn’t have been fair on him to stay, especially given what Phil had done.

His thoughts turned to Dan. He wondered how much Dan would miss him. _“You’re the one person I can imagine…”_   Dan had said. Phil wondered how that sentence might have ended. It was almost too painful to think about.

Dan had shown him just how much he was capable of feeling. All Phil could do was hope that he would find a connection like that again, someday.

But, in the meantime, he would survive. He had his friends and family, his job, and a whole range of nerdy hobbies. He was alone, and while that wasn’t exactly a pleasant thought, he didn’t feel suffocated by it.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...final chapter coming tomorrow.


	6. Chapter 6

Phil and PJ weren’t working on _Lion of Destiny_ the next week, as PJ had another project. They caught up at Phil’s apartment at the end of the week.

Phil had already told PJ about his breakup with Tom over text. They were discussing it further when he impulsively decided to come clean, and tell PJ about Dan. He spent most of the story looking down at his hands, afraid to see PJ’s reaction. When he mustered the courage to look up after the tale’s conclusion, his friend’s face was hard to read.

“Peej,” Phil said, hesitantly, “Do you blame me?”

PJ shook his head, and Phil actually sighed with relief.

PJ shifted in his seat. “I mean, it’s not the proudest of you I’ve ever been. If I were Tom’s best friend, I’d want to murder you right now. But I’m not, I’m yours. I know you, Phil. You might not have handled this well, but you don’t have an ounce of cruelty in you, I’m sure of that.”

“Thanks, Peej.”

“You know,” he mused, “I wasn’t all that surprised to hear you and Tom broke up.”

“Why do you say that?”

He shrugged. “You just never seemed like the best fit, you know? You didn’t challenge each other, and you never seemed like you were properly crazy about each other…” He trailed off. “Wow, it’s going to be really awkward now if you two get back together.”

“We won’t,” Phil said. He hadn’t wavered in his resolution and he highly doubted that Tom, after being dumped, would want to get back with him anyway. The two hadn’t spoken since the break-up.

“I have noticed a difference in you, the past few months,” PJ said.

“You have?”

“You’ve seemed, I don’t know, more confident? Happier.”

Phil hadn’t noticed a change in his own behaviour. But then again, he readily admitted he wasn’t the most emotionally-attuned person. Casting his mind back, it occurred to him just how much he’d laughed in the last few months. He supposed that he had been happier, less trapped in his own head. And he knew exactly who to credit that to.

“Are you going to be OK? With him gone?” Phil knew that they weren’t talking about Tom anymore.

“I miss him,” Phil admitted. There was no point in pretending otherwise. He thought about Dan a lot- remembered his mannerisms, his laugh, everything that had happened _that night_ …and that was a memory lane he probably shouldn’t go down with PJ sitting right next to him. “But it’s funny,” he continued. “I’ve always been so terrified of being here, being without a relationship. But being single, it’s not so bad.” Phil was confident that it wouldn’t last forever.

“And you’re in good company,” PJ added. “I’m _incredibly_ single right now.” As he registered his own words, his face fell.

“Hey,” Phil said, ruffling PJ’s hair (something he tried to do as often as possible, PJ had _fantastic_ hair). “I’m sure Miss Right is just around the corner.”

PJ rolled his eyes. “Same goes for you. Except Mr. Or Miss, I suppose. Gender…gender-neutral…”

Phil decided to rescue him. “Something’s coming, for both of us.”

PJ blinked. “That sounds ominous. Speaking of, we need to start planning our counter-attack incase Tom's best friend _does_ decide to do you in…”

***

They resumed work on _Lion_ a few days later. Before they even started, Chris drew Phil aside. “I heard about Dan leaving. I’m sorry it turned out like this. I feel bad for meddling.”

Phil shook his head. “Things might not have turned out the way I wanted, but that had nothing to do with your advice. You were actually very helpful.”

Chris grinned. “So what you’re saying is I should quit my job here and start a relationship counselling service.”

“I said none of those words.”

“But you implied the sentiment. What should I call it? Do you think I should have a uniform? Does it count as a uniform if I’m the only one wearing it?”

“Chris, just...do some work.”

Some things never changed.

***

Progress on the show continued smoothly. Episodes kept rolling out, and the viewing figures were good, very good. It looked like they were going to get another season. Phil thought about the script he had tucked away, and wondered if he could work it into the new season, whether the BBC would approve it…

He had been hanging out with PJ a lot. It was getting colder out, and they had been spending the weekends gaming and watching movies.

A Saturday morning in late October found him hastily tidying his flat. PJ was supposed to be coming round for a Wes Anderson marathon- only Phil was pretty sure that PJ had previously borrowed half of the DVDs from him. He hoped he was bringing them over.

The door-bell rang. Phil chucked the last of his socks into his bedroom, and went to get the front door.

“Peej -” he started, then trailed off.

“Not quite,” said Dan.

At first all Phil could do was gape at him. He looked well- he had tanned a warm golden colour, and Jesus, had he worn his jeans this tight before he left?

But Phil couldn’t, for the life of him, comprehend his being there.

“I ran into PJ in the foyer, actually- he said he’ll call you later," Dan was saying. The information barely penetrated Phil’s brain.

“Aren’t you supposed to be in America?” he blurted.

“It’s a long story.” Dan looked at him hopefully. “Can I come inside?”

“Oh! Yes,” Phil ushered Dan through. He barely had the presence of mind to close the door behind him.

Dan looked around the flat, as though he was documenting the changes. There weren’t many, though Phil wondered if he noticed the missing photograph of him and Tom.

“So, what happened?” he asked, as gently as he could manage, in case it was a sensitive topic.

Dan shrugged. “I’ll admit, the job was pretty good.” Phil noted Dan’s use of past-tense. It fuelled the hope rising inside him. “I just got…homesick. It was sunny all the time, Phil, and nobody got my sense of humour. I missed England- I missed the clouds, and the sarcasm and the whining.”

Phil’s mouth was dry. “Are you back for good?” he asked.

“Yep. I talked to my old land-lord, and he’s letting me move back-oof.”

Phil had wrapped him in a bone-crushing hug. Dan didn’t complain- he just squeezed Phil back, just as tightly. Phil inhaled the familiar smell of his aftershave.

“I broke up with Tom,” he said, voice slightly muffled by Dan’s shoulder.

Dan disentangled them. “What?” he demanded. “Why?”

Phil met his gaze. “Take a guess.”

Dan smiled, slowly, and then kissed him. Warmth spread through Phil's body, finally settling in his chest.

“You know,” Dan said, in a low voice. “There was another reason I decided to come home.”

“What was it?” Phil asked, playing along.

Dan smirked. “Take a guess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who read this (especially everyone who kudosed and commented). 
> 
> I wasn't sure if people were going to like this fic, because it's a bit morally ambiguous- I tried to make Dan and Phil do some questionable things and still be sympathetic. Last time I wrote an AU they were literal superheroes, so this was a shake-up :P
> 
> A special thanks to my repeat commenters, you are legends. Seeing you guys comment made me think 'hey, people are enjoying this' which is the best thought. I've even got less anxious about posting- let's say I was a 9.5 at the beginning, I'm probably down to a 5. 
> 
> Take care everyone xx.


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